I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
