we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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