i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
God gave him joint rollers for hands
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
