your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
