With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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