Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My balls are so social today.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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