obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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