Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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