This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
