he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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