I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
