it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
