Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
