This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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