the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize
