FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
