I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
