Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
