Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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