apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
