What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
