A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
