Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
