well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
