These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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