i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
