I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
