She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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