Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
