sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
