He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
