You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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