I'm really into asian looking animals
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
