Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
