who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
