Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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