i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
