Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
