even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
