I accidentally burped into my bong.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
