I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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