If that was your dad, he is hot
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
