so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
