hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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