the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So squirting runs in the family.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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