he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
