i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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