Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
