is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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