her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
