The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Dicks are not precious.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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