I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
