My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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