doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
