You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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