Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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